5. My
Life Has Turned into Hell
By: Nizar
B. Zain
Translation: Dr.Dinha T.Gorgis
Hashemite University, Jordan
Until only a month ago, I’ve been a happy
wife. My husband runs his own business successfully.
He’s faithful, and loves his family very much. We have
two children: a nine-year old daughter and a seven-year
old boy. Both are top at school, and neither has had any
problem.
********************
One day, my daughter came back home accompanied by a boy
of the same age. She innocently introduced him to me,
but the way Americans do, “This is my boyfriend, mom.” I
smiled; for the scene, very nice of kids at their age,
exalted me.
At night, I reported to my husband believing that he
would be as happy as I had been on seeing the new
friends. Instead of the expected joy, I was taken by
surprise: he at once became furious and called on our
daughter. He further surprised me when he lifted his
hand, smacked her, and started shouting: “Is it true
what I’ve just heard, that you have a male friend? We
are Arabs! Friendship goes like this: a girl befriends a
girl, and a boy a boy. If I ever know that you mated a
boy, I’ll slaughter you like a lamb!”
The bewilderment had my tongue tied. But, first, I had
to cool the girl down; she was panic and continued
crying hysterically. To be honest, this was the first
time I had come to realize an unfolded aspect in my
husband’s personality.
When we were back to our bedroom, I strongly and angrily
blamed him for what he had done. Incredibly, his biggest
surprise for the night was his determination to clear
off his business here and make his way back to our
homeland, obviously a one-sided decision.
I didn’t find in my daughter’s behavior any misconduct
save absolute innocence. As for the expression she
uttered, which is meaningless at her age, one could’ve
explained it to her gradually without tension and
nervousness in such a way that a friendship of this sort
is meant to run counter to Arabian customs and
traditions.
But what perplexed me more was my husband’s arbitrary
decision which, if materialized, he’d be losing an
opportunity for living that he might not find in his
homeland. This should also mean that a restart from zero
could affect him, me, and the children negatively.
The children will have to experience a new schooling
atmosphere; for curricula in our home country are
complicated, and methods of testing have not changed
since the Ottomans rule. This in addition to our having
had a stable and independent social life which is likely
to be threatened.
To tell you the truth, dear friend, my life has turned
into unbearable hell since that moment. No day passes by
without nagging and/or arguing about the same subject,
the conclusion of which is that my husband’s resolution
has a dictatorship underneath, a dictatorship that was
in slumber in his character, a quality that I’ve never
come across since marriage.
What can I do, dear friend? Can you help, and suggest
something that might take me out of this non-thirst
quenching hell?!!
